family check in

"Tvold, I told you that are would feel a lot better with a new hand."

"Did you see the size of that dog? Like a bloody bear!"

"No, I stabbed him last so it was my kill."

"Husband, you missed out on a splendid evening!"

Espen walked through the center of the group, listening to the excitement and hubbub ebb and flow around him. Normally he was at the front of it all but he'd been feeling a bit...morose with all the impending responsibility. It almost had him thinking about the future more than the moment he was living in. Which was the point of course but it was all a bit scary. He was excited too, but...he would miss this. Not that he couldn't and wouldn't continue to lead raids, but an Elder was supposed to put their clan before themselves.

He limped slightly, but not from a new injury. Between the cold and the clouds overhead threatening rain or maybe hail, his leg was bothering him again. It hadn't helped in the raid but of course most of the combatants they fought was plucky farmers or villagers with a poorly placed backbone. But an unfortunate step or unforseen pain had shifted his footing and allowed the lucky fellow to get a blade to his side. It only brushed the skin (an understandment but it wasn't deep) but it was better than hitting anything vital. Espen was more concerned with the holes in his shirt.

As much as he was a bit lost in his thoughts, he still had enough mind to enjure anyone seriously hurt came with him to the shaman. Thankfully no one seemed much worse off than him and most could handle that on their own. He limped to Roan's hut and didn't hesitate to enter.

"Hey, little brother," he called in greeting as his eyes adjusted to the dimmer light. "You missed out on all the excitement," he added with a grin as his gaze settled on Roan at the table. Espen moved to join him, gratefully taking a seat with a groan, happy to be off his leg.

He smiled. He probably heard it a lot because Espen almost always greeted him that way, at least when he was in a good enough mood or not so injured he couldn't behave like his normal, playfully annoying self. He shrugged and winced at the action. "I like you more than everyone else." There were a few other injuries, but nothing anymore exciting than his own. It was both a blessing and a disappointment, but he wasn't so worried about that.

Espen pressed a hand to his side. Not vital or not, it hurt and had been bleeding freely for long enough that his tunic was stuck to his side. Removing his simple leather protection was simple enough but the rough tunic hurt. "Easy," he hissed in pain, wincing as removing the shirt ripped the new scab open. "I like this tunic," he added, as if his discomfort was from the mistreatment of his clothing rather than bodily pain.

Eira was going to be annoyed when he came home bleeding, and he wasn't in the mood to deal with her at the moment. He was fine and would be more than capable of going hunting tomorrow for the ceremony the day after next and he didn't need his slave turned friend worrying over him any more than she already was.

He braced himself on the chair, leaning to one side as Roan inspected the injury. "Do you think I'm old?" he asked suddenly. He wanted to feel out his brother on what he thought of him becoming a council Elder but he wasn't sure how to phrase that question seriously.

"Arse. You had to think about that a lot," he observed with a snort. He probably should have expected as much, of course. He wasn't young. But he was hardly ancient enough to warrant the respect some of the other Elders commanded, nor their knowledge. "May the wind will it indeed," he grumbled, mostly as an expression of his irritation at the "not young" comment, and less in any sort of formality.

It was Espen's turn to be caught off guard, though he supposed he had wanted Roan to figure it out. He was just surprised it was that easy. Was he really that simple to read? Probably, even if they hadn't grown up together. "Not worried..." That wasn't the right word. "It's a lot of responsibility," he explained. "An Elder. Not...formally, but I'm expected to be a pillar of the community. Like mother." She was still an Elder still, after all. And an active hunter. She wasn't unreasonable or disapproving, but she was...their mother. He wrinkled his nose unconsciously in thought. comparing himself to her was partly what made him feel...not young.

"Makes me glad you'll be there," he added, glancing over at Roan with a small smile. Having his brother in charge was reassuring. It wasn't father, but he had grown closer to Roan than he had been to their father. He realized belatedly why Roan might have chosen the verb he had. "You'll be fine," he assured.

Hearing his brother call him a pillar to the community was both encouraging and daunting. There! That was the word! Not worried, but overwhelmed with expectations. He expected himself to do so much and it felt impossible in mother's shadow. He imagined that was even harder for Roan. Atrus had been well regarded, even for a shaman. Espen expected a lot of that had had to do with mother.

He took the momentary reprieve to relax in the chair, watching his brother move about the familiar space. "And I've made quite the habit of visiting," he observed with a bit of a joke. For minor and major injuries. But also just to talk. "Of course not. Most would argue it is full of drink most of the time," he snorted derisively. More so recently, they were right. But he controlled himself well enough. Roan was right now. Espen didn't feel himself to be the most intelligent man out there but he had heart and wisdom to spare. Usually.

Espen grit his teeth at the cleaning and nodded. "It means a lot to me, having you there," he expressed aloud. "You know I'll fight anyone who complains otherwise." He knew some of the rumors and looks Roan got. Sure, he often teased his brother but that was what they did. He wouldn't stand for others putting him down in favor of a dead man. It was one thing to look down on his station or lack of fighting skill, but for anything else, they would have to go through Espen.

Roan didn't given him time to prepare for the direct contact and he grunted and gripped the chair. "You're welcome," he hissed. He realized it only partly made sense but it was either that or swearing to distract from the brief pain inflicted in the name of healing. Espen was used to it by now, but it didn't keep it from hurting in the moment.

Tending to wounds and talking and listening was quite a lot. He didn't feel his brother needed to do more, but he did appreciate him. Even if he didn't always say so publicly as much as he could.

He raised a confused eyebrow. Lise would feel the same way how? It took him an awkward moment to catch up to what his brother meant and then the pieces seemed to click. "Oh..." he honestly hadn't even thought about the shadow he cast. For Jesper or Lise but especially his daughter. "With any luck, I'll die long before she has a chance at being an Elder so I won't get in her way," he teased half-heartedly. He didn't really mean it, but he did want to give his children their best chance to succeed.

Espen became a lot more somber and serious at the mention of Astrid. For a moment, he didn't say anything, simply held his breath while Roan wrapped his torso. "Actually..." he said thoughtfully and then chuckled. "I don't think I would hear the end of the old jokes." He forced a smile. She would be proud. And jealous as hell. And she'd never let him hear the end of how he was as old as his mother or something stupid like that. He didn't like to talk about it much, but he missed Astrid a lot.

He was a little busy hold back another groan and swearing under his breath that it took a moment to notice the look. It reminded him an awful lot of their father. While Espen hardly distinguished between Roan and his blood siblings, now was one of the times he wondered if he was the adopted one. Atrus made that face all the time. Espen certainly couldn't pull off stern half as well as Roan or their father could.

"I didn't mean it like that, I promise," he said, trying to be reassuring. "Not trying to orphan my own daughter." He wasn't worried about Lise not having a supportive family without him. Between Roan and Eira and mother and half the tribe, there were plenty of people to look out for her. But he valued his family and the time he had with his parents and he wouldn't take that away. Hell, he might not be the best father but he did love the girl and wanted to spend plenty of more years with her. "Jesper probably wouldn't mind though," he added as a poor joke. He was on a roll tonight, apparently.

Espen nodded at the thought both of them would be there in spirit. There was some small part of them that lived on in the people they touched and the places they visited. Especially at a place like the standing stones. He inspected the bandage work and then pulled his tunic back on. He'd have Eira clean it and mend the hole later. For now, it was a bit cold.

He laughed slightly, taking the jar and sniffing it, wrinkling his nose in distaste, as if expecting it to smell different than the last time. He narrowed his eyes at Roan, almost asking how he knew, but then he supposed he just did. That or he had watching him walk here. He leaned down to tug his pants down and massage the balm into his knee. "Bright and new, eh? That a challenge? You want to race me there, little brother? Because no one will take that bet." Not that Roan wasn't fit, but Espen was entirely serious about crushing him in such a competition.